It's Official

The Bengals lost to the Superbowl Champions. Who sucks now, bitches?

I actually came in at the end of the first quarter and then fell asleep. So I missed out on A) The game, and B) the most inconsequential event in human history, The Commercial. The one we all remember and can't shut the fuck up about tomorrow. The one that will be splattered all over the red eye and will consume the first hour of work tomorrow. Please be in the Red Eye.

It's so stupid, and it'll sound stupider since I will have to have this Picasso described to me, quoted to me, and referenced later in the afternoon, and then again when the one guy who wasn't involved in the morning conversation brings it up later assuming that if he hasn't discussed it, it hasn't been discussed. Something to talk about in lieu of how fucked up everything is.

Hmm. Let me try and think up the commercial everyone will be talking about. A funny animal doing something funny? A football player acting not at all like a football player? A guy being such a guy? A clever angle on the clever things that unclever people do when they're football fans? Some big movie star slumming? A new forced catchphrase that you love already? That stunt kid beer drinker ever notice girls and guys are different guy? The return of the Cha-Ching guy? A new take on the disturbing Burger King guy who we just love so much, like really love, like Hanz & Franz love.

I missed falling in love at the moment America fell in love with this thing we'll forget about by tomorrow at 3, but I kind of like it because having it described to me tomorrow morning belittles it for everyone involved.